Settling In

The past two months have been SUCH a whirlwind!  We've done so much and seen so much and gone to so many places that I am exhausted.  To recap: we visited two other islands, we moved out of our house and passed Forest City's dreaded move-out inspection, Mr. L retired from the Navy after 11 years of exemplary service, we said goodbye to the place where we spent the majority of our marriage, we traveled 13 hours (ish) back to our hometowns, moved in with my parents, celebrated Christmas, received our household goods shipment, took a road trip to Florida, took another road trip to Atlanta to pick up our (damaged) car, began the claims process with IAL, had a baby shower, started seeing doctors, and I started applying for jobs. PHEW!  That was too much to even type, much less live!!  Haha.

Waikiki Beach on our last day on Oahu

Looking back, we probably should have taken it much more easy and gone with a later retirement date.  But with the holidays coming up, we wanted to seize the opportunity to spend Christmas with our families.  Otherwise, it would have been our fourth Christmas in a row that we'd have missed with them and the thought of that really just made us sad.  But it was such a taxing experience overall.  I'm just glad we're past the tough parts now.

For now, our future is a total blank page, which is quite strange.  We've never had this kind of open road ahead of us before.  It's always been planned for us, from our wedding to Mr. L staying in the Navy for 20 years to having kids 5 years into our marriage, so it's definitely a scary time for the both of us.  We have many, many hopes, but few concrete plans.  Hopefully our path begins to reveal itself as soon as possible!

In the meantime, get ready for me to detail many of the places we've seen in the past year, from the Big Island to Kauai to good old Oahu once again.  I've got a lot to talk about, so I hope you all are still going to stick around for it!  Aloha for now!

Retirement Day

Mr. L, 

Today is your retirement day!  I am going to be honest -- it's so strange saying something like that.  We're both so young!!  You just turned 29!  Our lives are just getting started!  But that is the hand we have been dealt, so c'est la vie.

It's the truth, you know.  Our lives are just getting started.  We both still have so much to see, do, and experience together.  The Navy was an incredible chapter of your life that you got to share with me.  Yes, a lot of it was bad (I'm lookin' at you, deployments!), but so much of it was good.  I loved sharing that sense of adventure and excitement with you, especially around order pickin' time.  Getting to explore new places was a huge gift the Navy gave to both of us and it's something I'll be forever grateful for.

Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond our control, that chapter has been forced to come to an end.  I'm very sad about it, and I think you know that, but like I told you in the car yesterday, the best way for us to move forward with all of these changes is to think positively.  Moping will get us nowhere but feeling sorry for ourselves.  We have to change our outlook and focus on all of the wonderful things retirement will bring you.

For the first time in your adult life, literally the first time, you get to make choices for yourself without a tether.  Yes, that tether may in fact have been a lifeline for a long time, but I promise you, that is no longer the case.  You can and will thrive as a civilian!  The Navy has given you so much experience and knowledge in your field, which was another incredible gift, but now it is time for you to put your talents and brains to use elsewhere.  When you find your next job, they are going to be so lucky to have a person like you working for them.  You shine in so many situations and you will be proving your worth over and over and over again to them tenfold.  As long as you continue to carry your well-deserved confidence and "swagger" along from your Navy days, you will outshine everyone around you!

No matter what circumstances we go through, we will always be going through them together.  You're not alone in all of this.  I'll be whatever you need -- your rock, your confidant, your friend, your strength, your comfort (although I suspect a Therapy Schnauzer might offer better comfort sometimes).  I love you with all of my heart and I cannot wait to see all the wonderful things you achieve throughout your life!!!

Happy retirement day, Chawwie!!

When the Future Turns into the Present

Mr. L finally received his hard copy orders!  For those of you in the military community, you know how big of a deal this is and what it means.  Basically we can now start making concrete plans when it comes to moving!

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I feel like there's SO much to be done in such a short period of time.  Our main goal is to be home for Christmas and so far it looks like we're going to be able to stick to that plan.  We've already got our puppies set up to fly with Island Pet Movers, a local pet moving company that assists families in getting pets in and out of Hawaii.  We actually used them when we moved here to get Liam on island and they were such a huge help.  I'm glad it's one less thing that's on our plate and I don't have to worry about it, although it's probably going to kill me to say goodbye to them :(

My sweet pups cuddling

Somehow, someway, Mr. L and I are also going to island hop twice in this period of time too.  What can I say?  We are pretty ambitious people, haha.  It would have only been once, but Hurricane Ana derailed our plans to visit Kauai last month.  Since our plane tickets are transferable but not refundable, it looks like we're going to be squeezing in the short hop to Kauai.  Then we'll be checking out the Kona side of the Big Island for a couple of days since it's the only area we haven't seen on the BI.  I'm definitely excited to be heading back to both places!

Beautiful Waimea Canyon on Kauai

In some ways this feels like a regular old PCS, so it's strange to think it definitely won't be.  Mr. L's retirement date is set in stone now and it's bizarre to imagine him as something other than a military man.  But the reality is that's what he'll become and it's something we'll have to process through and deal with.  Thankfully we'll have tons of support from our friends and family back home to help us transition.  I realize how many people aren't that fortunate and I know we're absolutely blessed.

But for now, it's time to get to sorting and purging our stuff!  Wish us luck :)

Saying Aloha to Hawaii

Mr. L and I have finally (finally!) received a definitive answer regarding his current medical situation.  As some of you may have read in my last post on this topic, Mr. L had begun his medical evaluation board process back over the summer.  That involved a lot of paperwork, some medical tests, and a good dose of patience.  We were fortunate that his packet actually came back VERY quickly and also with some wonderful news that he'll be medically retired by the end of the year.

Beautiful Sunset Beach

A year ago, medical retirement/medical separation was the very last thing we wanted.  We were doing everything in our power to diagnose his illness and get it fixed.  But sadly, chronic illness doesn't work that way and we've had to roll with the punches.  There was an option for him to cross rate (change his job) to stay in the Navy, but Mr. L wanted that even less than separation.  So we took our chances and are very happy to say at least this turned out in our favor.

Friday Night Fireworks on Waikiki Beach

I guess the big question on our minds is what now?  Basically, we are pretty much in the dark.  We know that we will be moving home to Alabama, but we have no idea what's in store for us after that.  Mr. L and I are both updating our resumes and he is actively working connections to secure some type of employment, but we're worried about how it'll work out for us.  There are a lot of things we want and don't want in our life together and we'll just have to pray that the pieces fall together somehow.

Gorgeous Lanikai Beach

On top of that, we'll now have to deal with two complete lifestyle changes.  After 11 years of dedicated service, Mr. L will have to answer the question, "Who am I without the military?"  The military can be such a hassle, but it really has provided him with not only security, but wonderful opportunities throughout his adult life that I don't think he could have achieved any other way.  Losing that part of his identity will be a huge blow, but I do have faith that he'll find something equally as important to him and throw his energy and passion into that.

Kaneohe waterfalls on a stormy day

The second lifestyle change will be saying goodbye to Hawaii.  We've known from the beginning that we would never be settling here as a family, but Hawaii is a unique and lovely place that will always hold a special place in our hearts.  We've spent the majority of our marriage here, made some incredible friends, and have seen beauty we could never have imagined while growing up in Alabama.  This period of our lives was an absolute blessing to experience and I'm so thankful for that opportunity.  And let me tell you, I am sure going to miss the food here!  Haha.

The Blue Angels performing on Hickam Air Force Base

We're still working out the final details, but for now, we will be soaking up every last bit of sun, beach, mountains, food, and friends while we still can, and then it will be back to the "real world" for us.  Feel free to send lots of good thoughts and prayers our way!  :)

Welcome to And Drink the Wild Air!

Hi everyone and welcome to my newly made over blog!  This little space on the web has changed from "The Landrum Wife" and is now known as "And Drink the Wild Air," a nod to the famous Ralph Waldo Emerson quote from his poem "Merlin's Song."  A few months ago, I alluded to this transition with this post, and I am proud to finally unveil the final product to you all!

Just like with my last blog redesign, I'd like to thank Beth Bradford for all of her hard work, patience, and valuable time helping me figure out this new transition.  She always seems to deliver exactly what I'm envisioning and is such a pleasure to work with.  If you ever need any help with your own blog design, I highly recommend working with her!

This is just the first of many changes that will be happening in the lives of the Landrums over the next few months and I feel like it's very appropriate to kick it off with a blog rename and redesign.  (Look for an upcoming post detailing some of the other changes here soon!)  I'm hoping now that my new name will reflect a bit more of my personal life philosophy as we open up the next chapter of our lives, and I am also hoping you all continue to join me for the ride :)

Until next time, aloha!  :)

Real Healthcare is Nothing Like Grey's Anatomy

This blog post was originally written a few months ago around the beginning of summer, but I never took the time to finish it and put it up after getting my initial thoughts down.  In light of recent news on this front though, I decided to post it to catch you all up on what's been happening with Mr. L's situation.  It's not terribly optimistic so I apologize in advance for that.

~*~

Mr. L is now officially starting the medical board process.  For those of you who don't know, a med board (MEB) is basically what happens when a servicemember has been injured or taken ill while on active duty.  The Navy decides through a board if the servicemember can be declared fit for full duty once again or separation from the military is the best course to go.  The board also decides what sort of disability rating the servicemember gets if separation is imminent.

So for the next stretch of time (I'm unsure as to exactly how long), we will be attending many appointments to prepare all of the documentation needed to be sent to D.C. for his board.  We aren't happy -- how could we be? -- but we are both slowly accepting that the military may not be the right place for Mr. L at this point in time.  That in itself is such a weird thing to say, though.  The military is all he's ever wanted, so how could we have even gotten to this point at all?

Here is a funny Liam picture to cheer you all (read: me) up while reading this post.

 If there's one thing we've learned throughout the past year-plus through this process though, it's that real life healthcare is not like an episode of Grey's Anatomy or House.  Doctors don't give a crap about "figuring out" your condition and trying to "fix you."  They don't give a crap about solving your puzzle of an illness.  They just want to get their payout and maybe prescribe you a little medicine to tide you over while they move on to the next patient until their day is done.

Don't misunderstand me -- we've had some great doctors helping us through this situation.  Mr. L's PCM has been so wonderful to us and a lifesaver for our morale.  The ophthalmologist we saw for a couple of months back last year was genuine, kind, and always made sure Mr. L had a direct line straight to him for emergency purposes (which led to him advising us to head to the ER for an MRI over a year ago now after his eye pain became crippling migraines).  And his acupuncturist has been so patient, kind, and willing to listen whenever he needed to express any thoughts or concerns.

At this point, however, it's just hard for us to remain positive and hopeful, especially after our (third) neurologist informed us that Mr. L's condition isn't a neurological issue, which couldn't be farther from the truth.  It may not be diagnosed at this time, but it is DEFINITELY neurological -- most likely a cross between trigeminal neuralgia (or another kind of neuralgia) and cluster headaches.  Trust us when we say that we will be attempting to find a new (this'll be the fourth, if you're keeping count) neurologist if it's at all possible -- healthcare for active duty is so restrictive sometimes.

Yes, that's Lila in a t-shirt.  I don't even know, you guys...I'm probably losing it.

But now we wait.  We're praying we get some kind of good news that we can hang onto during this process and that it comes sooner rather than later. I guess we'll see.  Until then all good thoughts and prayers are very, very welcome!

Plans are Useless

It's a known fact that things never go the way you plan for them to go.  I should have known that this would eventually apply to Mr. L and me as well, but when things are going swimmingly for you, it's hard to imagine anything but all that happiness and good fortune when you're making plans for the future.

For most of his life, Mr. L knew that he was going to be involved with the military somehow.  When he was a kid, he thought that the Army would ultimately be his path, but when the Army recruiter wasn't in on the day he went to sign up, the Navy recruiter stepped in and snatched him up.  It's funny how something so small can have a major impact on your life, isn't it?  I most likely never would have met Mr. L if it weren't for that Army recruiter being MIA!

And just for fun...my and Mr. L's first picture together...we were babies!

Two Year Hawaiian Anniversary

It's SO crazy for me to think about, but Mr. L and I have officially been living in Hawaii for two years now!

At Makapu'u Lookout, just a few days after moving here

I always thought the time would drag on sooo slowly because we'd be so far away from anything I'd ever known, but I can honestly say time is moving TOO fast.  We're going to start looking at orders soon, y'all.  I can't even fathom that right now!

Housing Troubles, Part 3: In Which We Get a New House!

As some of you may recall, we had a little issue with our home here in Hawaii back in December: namely, mold (see here and here for previous posts).  And I am very, very happy to say that after nearly two years of dealing with pipe issues and flooding backups and tree roots and mold issues, we were able to move out of our old house with the move out fee completely waived!

Our new home!

Think: The Modern-Day Exploitation of the U.S. Military - Part Two

In my last Think post, I talked about the growing disconnect between the civilian world and the military world and how that relates to homecoming exploitation.  Unfortunately, that kind of exploitation isn’t the only type that’s out there.  If you haven’t heard about it, there has been some controversy in the American media regarding military benefits and pay, particularly recently.  A Huffington Post article published at the beginning of this year titled “Defense Budget Faces Cuts to Personnel After Decade of War” talks about ever-expanding cost of military personnel and the “lavish” benefits they receive (the word “lavish” was edited out later, I’m assuming after the backlash of anger hit them square in the face).

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Think: The Modern-Day Exploitation of the U.S. Military - Part One

Source

We've all seen the YouTube videos and the TV shows revolving around the ever-present theme of military homecomings.  Spouses cry with happiness, children shriek with joy, and even dogs slobber with pure jubilation when their uniformed loved one comes home.  It strikes a chord in all of us collectively as a nation, and we feel that sharing that moment with those military members and their loved ones offers up a connection we wouldn't otherwise get.  They are feel-good stories, and while it is an incredibly emotional and wonderful experience for those parties involved, I have a bit of a different take on the situation because I actually consider it to be a form of exploitation.

A Little Mold Update

After telling you all about our wonderful discovery in our downstairs storage closet, I figured I'd go ahead and give an update on what happened.  It took Forest City a while to get everything together (almost a month from the night we found the mold), but I am really hoping everything is fixed now.

Two weeks after the initial mold inspection (and after a lot of help from Mr. L's chain of command urging them to get off their butts), we finally were contacted and had the head supervisor and a contractor come out to re-inspect and get a quote for the damages.  We thought things were finally looking up, and then the weekend before Christmas and Christmas day happened.

Remembering the USS Arizona Memorial

In honor of Pearl Harbor Day, and because Mr. L and I will be going to the memorial this weekend, I'm republishing this post describing a visit to the USS Arizona Memorial I took with some friends back during the summer.  I feel blessed and humbled to live in not only such a beautiful place, but also a historically rich and significant one, and I know as long as we live here the images and memories of that day will always be a presence on our hearts.  

“Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan… No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people will through their righteous might win through to absolute victory… With confidence in our armed forces-with the unbounded determination of our people-we will gain the inevitable triumph-so help us God. I, therefore, ask that the Congress declare that since the dastardly and unprovoked attack by Japan on Sunday, December seventh, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.”

- President Franklin D. Roosevelt 

Let us never forget the actions and the people involved in this event that occurred 71 years ago today.

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The USS Arizona Memorial

The Need to Knows:

• The USS Arizona Memorial is located at 1 Arizona Memorial Road, Honolulu, HI 96818.  The Google Maps link is here:

View Larger Map


• It is open from 7AM to 5PM daily and closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Day.
• Bags are not allowed within Pearl Harbor Visitor Center.  However, storage lockers are available for use for a fee -- I think it's around $3.00 a locker, but I didn't use them, so I'm not 100% sure on that. The storage facility is open from 6:30AM to 5:30PM daily.
• The tour itself lasts approximately an hour and fifteen minutes.  It includes a brief introduction, a 23-minute documentary on the events leading up to and on the day of December 7, 1941, a shuttle boat ride to the Memorial, and time to experience the Memorial itself.  I would allow for more time to explore the grounds and the various museums as well.
• I strongly recommend reserving tickets in advance for the Memorial.  When I went, I'd reserved tickets for the 9AM tour on a Friday, and I was able to pick them up at 7:30AM (you must pick up your tickets one hour in advance at the latest or they will be redistributed back into circulation for the general walk-in public) and have time to explore the museums and walk the grounds before the 22-minute movie and boat ride began.  A friend of mine mentioned that when she went, she and her husband waited in line for about an hour and a half for tickets -- yikes!   The only way to reserve tickets is to visit Recreation.gov; the link to the USS Arizona Memorial tour page is here.  There is a reservation fee at $1.50 per ticket.  If you plan on seeing the USS Missouri, the USS Bowfin, and the Pacific Aviation Museum, the tour page also offers a "Passport to Pearl Harbor" tour in which you can purchase your entrance fees to those sites in advance.
• Each program has a capacity of 150 people, and programs run every 15 minutes -- the first begins at 8AM, and the last begins at 3PM.  If you don't reserve tickets, be prepared to get there early and wait in line! 
• Please, please be quiet, respectful, and courteous while at the Pearl Harbor Visitor Center as well as when you are on the USS Arizona Memorial itself.  The Memorial is considered a burial ground, just like the National Cemetery of the Pacific (Punchbowl) or Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, so behave accordingly.
• For more information, please visit the USS Arizona Memorial website via the National Park Service.

Hey Closet, You're Looking a Little Moldy Today

Life loves to throw little curveballs at your face from time to time, doesn't it?

I figured I'd be happily chugging along with my Capturing December photo prompts, but here I've already missed a day, and it's thanks to a pretty ugly reason:

I hate you, mold.  (The strips on the floor are from our cardboard boxes that had been wet and when we went to pick them up and move them, the bottoms ripped off -- there's no telling how much mold is actually behind the walls/under the floors.

Mr. L and I were pulling Christmas decorations for the house out of our downstairs closet located in between our staircase and half bath/laundry when we came across this wonderful little surprise.  I immediately went into panic mode, but at least had enough sense to start taking pictures.  Ever since we've moved into this house, we've had issues with the plumbing and pipes.  We can't use too much water in a day or the downstairs toilet backs up and floods the bath/laundry.  It normally happens when I do more than 2-3 loads of laundry in a day, which really sucks on those days I don't plan ahead and I'm doing multiple loads prepping for a trip.  Maintenance has come out a few times to attempt to address these issues, but we were told it's because of old clay piping and the only way to actually get rid of the issue is to have a complete overhaul of the entire neighborhood's plumbing system -- AKA it's not going to go away.

Reflections: Where is Your Home?

As a military family, sometimes it's very difficult for us to answer a question as simple as "Where is your home?"  Some families may have many homes, some may have just one, and some may not really have a place to call home.  Since we move every few years, things can be a bit confusing, and to be honest, it's a also disheartening because I feel like we can't ever establish permanent roots as long as Mr. L stays in the military.  Buying a home is normally out of the question, and when kids come around, they won't be growing up in the same home/area for their entire lives.  In a way it's not exactly the life I envisioned for myself, which of course is not to say I don't appreciate the great things that come out of this lifestyle; the travel is pretty amazing, after all =)

My Hawaiian "not quite" home!

Reflections: How Well Do You Trust?

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone -- but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."  -Walter Anderson

Trust.

It's a remarkably simple word, really, but in truth, it has an incredibly complex definition.  There are so many facets to this word, and yet, it's also such a delicate, fragile thing.  It can be shattered so, so quickly, and in quite a few cases, it can never be rebuilt again, leading to the demise of countless relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendly.  But trust is also a beautiful, brilliant thing as well.  Once you've found true trust within another person, a whole new level of love opens up to you, and your relationship blossoms into something remarkable, wonderful, and worth holding onto.

But what do you do when you feel like you can't even trust your own spouse?

To be honest, I'd never even considered that so many people are in exactly that situation.  I have never once felt like I couldn't innately, 100%, with-all-of-my-soul trust my husband.  So it blew me away (and absolutely popped my bubble) when I learned that many, many people have no idea that relationships like ours actually exist.  They think that that level of trust and intimacy can never be attained at all.  I was flabbergasted.  But I'm here to share that it can be achieved.

Military Spouse Survey!

I found this survey on a fellow military spouse blog -- Married to the Red, White, and Blue -- and I thought it would be fun to share a little bit more of my history with Mr. L =)

1. Where did you and your Spouse meet?

• We first met on Thanksgiving Day in 2004.  A friend of mine was having a Halo party, and since said friend's older brother was Mr. L's best friend, he was there too!  Unfortunately for him, I still don't really remember him from the party -- I knew he was there, but I just couldn't picture him.  The Navy buddy he'd brought home with him for the holiday left a bigger impression on me than he did!  Fortunately for both of us, we got to "re-meet" in February of 2005 =)

2. How old were you when you met?

• I was 16 going on 17 (ha, I bet I just got that song stuck in your head!); he was 19.

Think: Military Versus Civilian

My husband is the one percent.

via this link

Nooo, I don't mean Mr. L is a part of the nation's richest one percent. I mean he is a part of the one percent of our nation's population currently enlisted in the US military.

That means ninety-nine percent of our population actually isn't in the military.  When you include family of friends of military, the percentage probably changes a bit, but the point still stands that an overwhelming minority of our population is enlisted to defend this country at a moment's notice.

Reflections: On Moving Away from Home

Before my husband and I moved to Hawaii, I'd never really lived away from home before.  Family has always been very important to Mr. L and me, so we're all a pretty tightly-knit bunch and keep up often with our parents, siblings, and extended family.  Since I'd lived at home for 22 years of my life before Mr. L and I tied the knot, and he'd been on his own since joining the Navy, I perhaps was more acutely dreading the path that lay before us.

Even after we got married, I was never "away" from home.  We only moved an hour away from where we both grew up.  Nearly every weekend, we'd go home and see our families, so it was like we never actually left.  We easily kept up with the goings-on in our small town and with our friends and loved ones, but at the same time we were a nice distance away too.  It was a good compromise in our opinion.

You Say Goodbye, And I Say Aloha

I originally wrote this post yesterday because I knew today would strictly be a travel day (20 hours total)!  So if you're reading this, Mr. L and I are already off to Hawaii!  For the next couple of weeks, there will be regularly scheduled posts to keep up with, so stay tuned for those!  Aloha!

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I woke up this morning, the day before Mr. L and I move, feeling overwhelmed and anxious for what lay ahead of us. I lay in my bed (my bed of nearly the last decade of my life, minus the past year) wondering silently, "Has it really already arrived?" In a way, the nerves and anxiety (with a shot of excitement!) feels like our wedding day all over again, when I woke up in the same bed in much the same frame of mind. If only I'd written down what I'd been feeling on that day, too!